I often confuse words. The other day I went into the bathroom to wash my hands in the bison and was trampled by
a large European buffalo. Happens all the time
I get words wrong sometimes as well, I think on this occasion though you used your extinct, just like the
Wisent nearly is, I hear you have a wonderful Aurochs about you though.
This got me wondering if the Bison's of Chernobyl glow at night and if perhaps they will mutate into a super
Bison with wings or even just into a basin with legs ?
I never got that buffalo wing thing as far as I know they have never had wings and the wings are chickens, so
why are they not called chicken wings ? No doubt because its not macho enough.
Talking of Sinitta I often wondered if she was in fact once a man, not that she looks like a man and I did, and
probably do find her attractive but something about he being Simon Cowells lover made me feel ill.
I cant say that I would ever want to be Simon Cowells lover. But then I think Sinnita is far too thin. She needs
to eat some bread and butter pudding or a nice piece of Spam.
Its fine being Simon Cowells lover he takes 4 hours in the bathroom working on his hair creation and then 5
hours to get his trousers low enough to reveal his manhood ( if in fact he has one ) so you can feed Sinnita
during this time and sex her instead, you had to mention
I have just done a wiki on Sinitta ( well somebody has to) and it says that she was the lead singer with Hot
Gossip. So not only did she appear on screen with Cupid Stunt but now she is having sex with one (alledgedly)
(dont sue me Mr.Cowell)
And as for Lovely spam, wonderful spa-a-m,
Lovely spam, wonderful S Spam,
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am,
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am,
SPA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM,
SPA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM,
LOVELY SPAM, LOVELY SPAM,
LOVELY SPAM, LOVELY SPAM,
LOVELY
SPA-A-A-A-AM...
SPA-AM, SPA-AM, SPA-AM, SPA-A-A-AM!
I havent had that for years. Apart
from the ones which wants to give me a larger penis. But what would I do with two.
Perhaps if it takes Simon Cowell five hours to adjust his trousers to show his manhood I could sell him my
second one. That way Sinitta wouldnt mind the wait so much
Wiki'ing Sinitta sounds rude and quite appealing damn I wish I had wikied her first, but you did it all on the
best possible taste Michael, you need to check you tube for Hot Gossip videos in fact everyone does :P As far
as I can assertain Simon Cowell wont join treemo he thinks its the worst media sharing site he has seen and
shakes his head.
Hang on I was always shallow seems I never noticed Hot Gossip had singers,
and I thought Sarah Brightman was their singer ?
I recomend that you visit the Spam website. It is full of treats and delights for the spam lover. Although I
can find no mention of a larger penis as a result of eating spam they do have some interesting taste
combinations on the site Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon
and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam
sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam
baked beans spam spam spam...
I suppose if you wanted it is possible to have Lobster Thermidor au Crevette with a Mornay sauce served in a
Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg
on top and spam.
You seem to know your food, I like a person who knows their food, shame all the food is made of dead animals,
but nobody is perfect , I have to admit when you younger pre-16 I did eat and enjoy spam and had many of the
combinations Monty P suggested, now to develop vegan spam :)
I feel as we have managed to get the conversation onto Monty P we should at least name our favourite sketch if
thats possible from the fantastic selection available. So I throw down the gauntlet and you go first !
i want to play but i'm feeling a little inadaquite. i don't know much python and i'm a little short in other
areas too. but i'm willing to experiment on myself with the spam though.
By a little short do you mean you are a midget or a dwarf its important we know which for political
correctness, also need to know if you are a gay midget, a muslim dwarf and so on, spam is probably fun to play
with but I remember it was best fried,
And then obviously we have the Lumberjack song. If there were more songs like that I am sure that the record
industry wouldnt be in such a mess. I mean who can fault lyrics like that.
I wear womens clothes and hang around in bars, I suppose I could chop wood if needed, I think we are showing
our age, perhaps add that we saw Monty Python for the first time last week by accident on the old gits channel
Eric Olthwaite was my favourite even the white bits were black, and it was a Leopard, though of course I have
just watched them again, and a leopard would ne be offended being thought of as a panther as long as it wasnt
pink.
i'm usually happy and in a good mood but my right leg is shorter than my left so i'm not sure where that places
me among the populace. here in texas we like to bar-b-q so i think i'll start with a couple of spam steaks...
oh crap! now you have me running around in a circle! mad spam disease? has anyone told the hawaiians? i mean,
isnt that like their national food. the picture on the can shows a slice of pineapple...
With mad cow disease you moo loudly, think President Bush and Tony Blair are great and fall over a lot, I
think with mad spam disease you put on a grass skirt play a uke and think everything in the world is just great
saying aloha a lot, the pineapple is all for show, and expensive fruit to decorate meat and pizza with and
throw away after your finished.
If you run around in a grass skirt would the friction cause it to burst into flames? You could lose more than
your pineapple chunks if that happened. Then the man from Del Monte would say NO.
And as for Frank Zappa - we here in the laboratory of the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen know a thing or two.
But I am not going to tell you. Because thaat would be plain wrong.
Nice to hear Mr Zappa get a outing, though as long as someone doesnt have a urine infection then urine is
sterile and so would be fine flavouring for a snow cone, not sure about Mr Whippeys though !
After hearing what that nasty Del Monte man does to the chunks I want to give him a good slap. Lets hope he
doesnt team up with Fyffes the banana strangler and pay Granny Smith a visit
Now funny you should mention the evil Maria Ann Sherwood Smith ( or granny to her victims ) she could have
handled the strangler with no problems by inserting her deadly seeds in his eyeball sockets, talking of
Australia Paul Davies if from Australia and that always reminds me of the Unruh effect, and how glad I am not
an inertial observer, oh how I laugh when I think of this.
Oh multiple comments, and Sexgod1 Sinitta is a universal constant and partly explains the universe
expanding, or does it explain my trousers expanding, NOTHING explains Simon Cowells trousers of course
:P
Please. I know we have a Sexgod on board this roller coaster but expanding trousers? Leave Sinitta out of
them. And I think it would be safer to keep Coweel out of your trousers as well - just ask Louis Walsh
I think supermans underwear is too tight and he is in severe scrotal agony. Or perhaps Lois has promised to
dress as Lex Luther and Supy is desperate to get home for a bit of "man of steel"action
we got as far as a circuit with coils but heres the catch it possibly could run on ions from the ionicsphere,
were at the point of how can we make something that collects enough ions to where its consistent.
Well lets see Ions have mass and I suppose could be seen as a solid or cloud of gas, also they really dont give
much of a push and wont work very well in an atmosphere, perhaps Krptonite or Lois's vagina might be a power
source ?
As to NASAs Magnetoplasmadynamic drive it needs loads of power which would
probably have to be nuclear to work.
So I think its the obvious solar power, of course a fast
one might only be suitable for someone sponge bob's size
And I suppose electrons has
mass and even photons have mass so a photon drive which would cook anybody who stood behind the car would be
out of the questions as well, there is of course wind, a huge sail which would allow motorway travel in windy
days, or to be absoloutely sure of the car being 100% green using neurinos from the sun would be worth
looking at.
I remember seeing buildings ( The Crimson Premium insurance company ) sailing
once or was it a dream :P
Oh I also have to point out that not all men are not interested in
vaginas ;-)
As of course not all women are interested in Peni ;-)
And, I have to apologise that having been on Treemo so long I cant help but talk about peoples private parts.
And I am afraid I still dont understand how to talk the Treemo talk, I am just to old to learn ;-)
Treemo speak is a whole different language. I am assuming that most people on Treemo are american so
perhaps it is a special north american language. You are never to old to learn Mr Mord but do you really want
to learn a language that looks like it has been written on a broken typewriter.
I have also decided that I do not want to pilot Sexgod`s ion powered vehicle. I want to drive/sail/fly a
ground effect plane. Like the Ekranoplan - god bless the Russians and their marvellous technology. Its
the way forward I say. Unless the government are going to issue us with personal jet packs that is. I would
like one of those so I could rescue kittens that are stuck up trees. How many kittens have you actually seen
stuck up a tree. I have never seen one. Its a conspiracy I tell you
While sexgod1 ( by the way where is sexgod without the 1 is he like the real sexgod and we just have like a clone
sexgod ) is at class we can discuss that wonderful plane that thinks its a boat Ekranoplan is awetastic and I
want one to come to work and it would be great, I would zoom out of Cardiff back and under the Severn bridge and
would take less than 15 mins I am sure, I will build one tonight out of wood.
AND, Please dont use the GOD BLESS words and Russians in the same sentence the cold war still exsists really
its just a little colder than before, that and we have enough things about God on Treemo and thats not the
sexgod1 its the real God, one thing I dont see much of is Mohammed or Allah are these guys busy or something ? (
little bit of religion little bit of polictics, little bit of planes that fly just above the water )
Oh I noticed one thing as well, when you dont use the new North American faulty typwriter language it takes
longer to comment and seems to make more sense.
BTW Superman eats kittens, and personal jet
packs are only issued to illegal immigrants along with money and a note saying please leave the country
unless you swear at the queen and you can stay, or something like that.
HaHa! I have entered the computer realm, I was using my phone but now I can type alot more. Does that mean that
superman has some type of gay beastiality fetish? ( eats kittens and wants Lex Luthers steel )
I have tried BabelFish and I think that the translation programme committed suicide over your message. I
think we should stick to the queens english and that will keep us out of trouble - sort of
Any man - super or not - that wears his underwear on the outside is a bit odd if you ask me. Hi he does have a gay
bestiality fetish Spiderman better stay away in his figure hugging suit.
I hadnt realised that the cold war was still on. I thought we were spreading the love man. If it is going to
carry on I better get in some bottled water and some baked beans. Maybe organise a bed-in like John and Yoko.
At least I get to lie down that way
its not so much a language as it is an adaptation. see, our sub-standard schools no longer teach us to spell
correctly. now we mostly go to school to see if the hot teacher will ask us to stay after school for extra
curricular activities. AND if you just so happen to not get picked its probably because you are morbidly
obese, which makes you lazy so you dont want to type all the letters that belong in each word. besides, with
all the spam kids are eating nowadays its no wonder we're grossly overweight. i mean, they are eating the
spam right? they're not having sex with it or something or is that where the bigger penis thing comes in?
because if having sex with spam will make me more of a man then i just dont love spam that much. i think we'll
just remain friends because sex can ruin the friendship. AND i'm not sure i want to know where her royal
highness got the idea to be able to coin the words dirty sanchez...
I had heard that the Queen was a foul mouthed woman. Apparently she is a lot worse once she has had a few pints
of cider. Apparently Prince Phillip makes up disgusting limericks about Charles and the corgis whilst
the Queen wanders round looking for an excuse to slag off Princess Dodi
Dont do it atomicmikef2. Dont think about having sex with spam. That way madness lies. Stick to staying
late with your hot teacher and try not to do anything foolish.
If anyone is so morbidly obese that their fat fingers are unable to type then they really need to stay away
from spam and spam related products. Think about getting a hobby - one that doesnt involve consuming vast
quantities of calories would be ideal. Because come the day when the Queen does send a text to say that she
has chosen you to have a personal jetpack it`s going to be too late because the waist strap will just be too
tight. And then you really will feel foolish
madness? i think seeing mord in the stocks has driven us all mad. i'm 36yrs old so the teacher wont let me stay
after school anymore. she said that she prefers much younger men, early teens, something like that. the
gym teacher did offer his services. he said he would give me a hands on demonstration on how to properly wash
myself in the shower. he said thats how batman and robin do it down there all alone in the batcave while
alfred stands patiently by. by the way, does the queen get violent when she drinks?
Yes Mr Mord has a lot to answer for. Try and avoid the gym teachers offer.That sort of thing is best left to the
type of film you wont find on the Disney channel. And as for Alfred - any man that "serves" a man in tights and
his "boy wonder" is just longing for a gimp suit.
As I understand it ( the last time I was at the palace that is) Queeny does get a bit violent when she has had a
few. She gets all depressed then she starts ranting about getting the colonies back. Now if she had a fleet
of Ekranoplans she could soon skip over and regally kick some arse. Both Prince Charles and Prince Andrew
are qualified pilots so that bit is covered. Prince Edward could be the camp air steward and serve salted
nuts to whoever wants them. Perhaps Mr Mord should build more than one Ekranoplan this evening and offer
his services to Queen and country
So its official sexgod1 is the lawnmower man or does he mean he is just using a PC, its easy to get these things
mixed up. Im sorry the Babelfish sucks at German its deserves to die. I am sorry we agreed to the queens
English.
My husband and I would like to comment on this most spendid Treemo site and if we feel
you are likely to cause the Royal famly and issues we will have you killed in a road tunnel, do I smell fresh
paint again.
Im sorry I cant get the image of spiderman in his tight figuring hugging suit out of my head, of thinking of
Mary-Jane in tight figuring hugging suit has me on my knees.
Ooops shallow man alert, I
apologise.
Elizium I wouldnt organise a bed-in or love -in if you plan to get lots of beans
call me old fashioned, and yes I expectt Russia still has her nukes facing our direction, but superman will
save us with his pants.
Atomicmike2, I am not sure you can use hot teachers as an excuse for the
new cell phone ( or mobile as they are called in the UK ) type speech but good try, a question are all your
teachers centrally heated to make them hot ?
I may have bitten off more than I can chew buidling the Ekranoplan, seems it requires plans, materials,
engines, fuel, spam, testing, spam, space to build it, spam, and spamming permission, and I would need to
get it FDSPAM approved, so sad, its back to the stocks for me.
wingriby - somneone who makes up
nonsense words that google doesnt recognise
Words the queen has uttered 1.Butt Muncher 2.
Piss flaps 3. Fudge packer 4. hairy anus 5. I am not amused 6. Have Dodi killed 7. Twat 8. Shit eater 9. Do I
smell wet paint.
riterfcw - a girl who wont say the word cunt in pubic
iffewfd - The act of laughing while drinking tea and expelling the tea at high velocity through both nose
and mouth.
Oh and if you see what random nonsense words with meanings appear its me traning
google, these words google offers no links to or spelling corrections.
Calm down Mr Mord. Perhaps you do need a holiday. I do believe the Queen has a few properties. Perhaps she
could rent one out to you. She is sure to need the money now that she is close to retirement age (retirement
age in the UK is 90). As well as the bad language you mentioned she is also fond of the term "anal bleaching" -
she gets one of the younger butlers to do it to her whenever Phil fancies a bit of Greek.
Dont give up on the Ekranoplan. I am sure if you work hard and plan efficiently you will get enough spam to
finish the task. A bit of British gumption and ingenuity - plus some sticky back plastic, some toilet roll
inner tubes and a bit of parsley will get the job done.
Did you know that the word
Llancoedcelynysgolcaercwmrhonddabachcochbaracwrw is Welsh for the cat has done a whoopsie in my beret
eeeeeek who is that man in your ICON ! Make him stop ;-) yes the queen has many properties, she can bend,
twist, stretch, heat up and cool down, she can perform loops, run, walk, speak, in fact most of the
properties of a normal human, butg never forget she is a cyborg and her mother was de-commisioned due to old
design, I believe the queen newer and more robust structure means she will in service for at least 200
years.
I knew you would get "anal bleaching in the comments" I believe the queen uses
domestos or is it domestics ?
Do you have a picture of this mythical Ekranoplan, wasnt that the word Vic Reeves used in Shooting stars ?
Dont forget I am vegan ( well almost ) so its against my principles to use meat based product for personal
gain. And please parsley cant be used any more as lions are protected.
Llancoedcelynysgolcaercwmrhonddabachcochbarathcwrw is Welsh for the cat has done a whoopsie on my
red beret
and
Llancoedcelynysgolcaercwmrhonddabachcochbaratrgyycwrw
is Welsh for the cat has done a whoopsie on my raspberry beret, prince ( the short sexy one who has damaged
himself dancing and not the plant talking, gay or war mongering one ) is actually Welsh, he was born to a
family of sheep in the 1700's.
Oh and do you think sexgod1 and atomicmike2 are bored or have they eaten too much spam, and are we all so white
and nerdy that we cant get girls or sexy mammas or MILFs to comment on our pics ?
Whay is a MILF
anyway is it a US Army special weapon or something ?
sorry mr mord i was out begging for change to support my spam habit. i really think its the lovely yellowish
jelly that its packed in that has me addicted. as for the centrally heated teachers, yes they all equipped
with an HVAC system hence the warm/cold response from my last post. as for the MILF its more like spam. the
packaging is attractive but whats on the inside that really counts. they also come with special
attachments. i think they are called klingons or something. i really dont get out much anymore...
Oh and I have heard via the grapevine some people eyes glaze over when they read this photos comments, I cant
imagine why can you ? Do any of you guys know any girls we can bring to our comment fest, if case you dont know
girls are the ones that smell nice and tend to be more interesting than us blokes, there are other
differences I just cant remember any at the moment.
i think their eyes glaze over like a nice piece of spam because we dont use the broken typewriter method of
texting. as for the ladies they're also soft and nice to look at. i usually have to pay for their company. i
think i'm going to cry.....
Oh my Gods!! I have not read anything as entertaining as this page in a long time! thank u for the much needed
giggles & smiles! intelligent banter is a rarity here on treemo. namaste
Intelligent? Are you sure you are reading this page correctly. Atomicmikef2 is paying for the company of
spam people, Mr Mord is inventing a new language to confuse Google and I am just hanging about waiting to be
discovered - although there is never an explorer around when you want one.
Although I must agree that there is a lack of intelligent conversation in the Tree. You can pick up new and
exciting phrases to describe boobs and bums though.
Did someone mention boobs and bums, dont forget torsos and six packs ( we mustn be sexist ) , intelligent,
ahahahahah LOLOLOLOL, but you can see how Monty Python was so popular they made arse's of themselves and
people thought they were clever, I suppose that is clever, they would all have been lawyers and merchant
bankers otherwise.
Isnt it about time we all fell with each other and started making false accusations about each other,
ideally ones that have no basis in fact, or ideally we could lie and make things up about ourselves, and
actually the best way to fit in with the Tree is to post pictures you find on the internet.
this episode of mr mords flying pillory has been brought to you by the word insanity and the letters I, C, U
and P. the pillory would also like to thank the makers of the findest potted meat on the planet the makers of
spam and its by-products. we'd also like to thank del monty and his fruit company, and the lovely mrs smith.
tune in next week when rotten produce is thrown at mr mord by david beckam and his wife posh spice while
encouraged by elizium. and watch as atomicmikef2 is beaten by the british royal army for improperly using
the words anal bleaching and dirty sanchez in a sentence. until next week... aloha! no fruit or animal
by-products were harmed during this episode.
Oh Changing the subject bit with many quote relevant to the people of Treemo I am going to add some Oscar
Wilde quotes and nobody does them better, here is a couple to get us started, all I think will ring bells with
Treemo folk ;-)
Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
Woman begin by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.
When the gods
wish to punish us they answer our prayers.
ooprided - someone believing that that are
actually important.
Oh simultaneous unrelated comments I love them, and glad to see Atom Mike is still alive and hasnt moved to a
more intellectually challenging part of treemo :P
There is something
terribly morbid in the modern sympathy with pain. One should sympathise with the colour, the beauty, the
joy of life. The less said about life's sores the better.
There is no sin except stupidity.
wxzeei - The smell you get when you open a new packet of dry roast peanuts
I never understood "a live studio audience" I mean a studio audience is not likely to be dead and if its taped
in front of an audience then by default its live :P
That said some audiences might as well be
dead, never can figure people who go to shows and sit there looking like they had been forced to attend, I
suppose Treemo is like a live show taped before a live audience, hang on though are we being forced to
attend, "we can check out any time we like bit we can never leave"
diqsredmum - that feeling
you get when you out a fresh new wig on for the first time.
Oh and off the subject bit something I want to know Atomicmike2, why do you have no icon pic ?
Is
it any of the following :
1. Whats an Icon pic Mord ?
2. That is my icon pic it took me 8
hours of photoshopping and just looks like the deafault one :P
3. I am so cool I stick with the default
to be alternative.
4. I cant figure out how to do it
5. I am a communist and believe all out icons
should be the same comrade.
6. I dont have a thong to wear for my Treemo icon pic.
7. Mord F*ck
off you mother F*cking C*ck sucking Twat.
8. By conforming to conformity I am an unconformist.
9. If youre so anti fashion why not wear flares instead of dressing down all the time.
10. I will
have an icon by Christmas 2010.
iqprode - The ancient art of slapping rubarb on ones bottom.
Oscar Wilde is a good choice for stealing quotes from. I have found a few I like. Not necessarily p.c. but
what the hell - this is the new frontier of cyber worlds. A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's
face is her work of fiction.
All the good things in life are immoral, illegal, or heavily
taxed.
Dont fall into Mr Mord`s icon trap atomicmike. Once he knows what you look like then you are in his grasp.You
will be lured to his stream and you will beome part of his family. When he says that iqprode is the ancient art
of slapping rhubarb on ones bottom he`s not joking. I tell you it`s a slippery slope. But thats probably
caused by the rhubarb juice.
11. i have so much back hair that it looks like i always have the same shirt on. 12. i am so ugly treemo has
banned any use of my photo as it is deemed offensive. 13. it took me 10 hrs to photoshop and thats the best i
could do.
I cant buy the back hair story. There are so many fashionable things that you can do with hair nowadays - what
about tram lines or corn rows. Maybe have it beaded or plaited. Maybe even a mullet if thats your thing. And
as for being ugly - come on. Have you seen the front page some days? Looks like they hit every branch when they
fell out of the ugly tree. Sorry that was uncalled for. Everyone is beautiful in their own way however small
that way may be. Photoshop is a tricky beast to master but keep plugging away
How difficult would it be to start your own political party or religious cult? The closest I have come is
when myself and a workmate sort of had a new political party. We called ourselves The Workers Theoretical
Revolutionary Party - we used to sit and think about it a lot. But starting a cult would be a lot more hard
work. Although some of the groundwork has been done. Everyone in Britain knows that the royal family are
extra terrestrial lizards, Madonna is saving Africa by buying one child at a time and someone is
monitoring this stream - pssst look at the adds at the bottom of the page. But remember that the revolution
will not be televised
No mullets, NO mullets, Treemo doesnt have high standard but it does have some standards, I would have
thought having the name like Nike shaved into you hair is a could look for Treemo :P So Elizium are you saying
Treemo IS the ugly tree, I always wondered where it was ! Its the inside that counts I am sure that "the tree"
has lots of wonderful sap flowing through its veins.
Oh and its makes me soooooooooo proud to be English seeing David B's wonderfull quotes so so glad he is so
famous and a brilliant British Ambassador, can you imagine how Bush and David would loose us all in their
towering int
atomicmikef2 said:
hate to find out what you did to get sent to the stocks!
bigaldavies said:
Is that a stock question?
mord said:
Stock it to me boyos
atomicmikef2 said:
i'm adding the two of you to my network so i can keep stocking both you!
mord said:
I always knew you were a stocker !
elizium said:
I dont want to be a pedant but is`nt that a pillory.
elizium said:
I am sure you can do a good photo in either - whacky poses are your stock in trade. Sorry
elizium said:
I often confuse words. The other day I went into the bathroom to wash my hands in the bison and was trampled by a large European buffalo. Happens all the time
mord said:
My eyes are rolling at your wordsmith frenzy Mr Elizium, you have a perchant for picking those prudent P words :)
mord said:
I get words wrong sometimes as well, I think on this occasion though you used your extinct, just like the Wisent nearly is, I hear you have a wonderful Aurochs about you though.
mord said:
This got me wondering if the Bison's of Chernobyl glow at night and if perhaps they will mutate into a super Bison with wings or even just into a basin with legs ?
elizium said:
Maybe the bisons of Chernobyl will turn into self barbequeing buffalo wings. Whip up some salad and away to go.
mord said:
I never got that buffalo wing thing as far as I know they have never had wings and the wings are chickens, so why are they not called chicken wings ? No doubt because its not macho enough.
mord said:
Whenever I use the word Macho I always think of Sinitta, which isnt a bad things I suppose
mord said:
Talking of Sinitta I often wondered if she was in fact once a man, not that she looks like a man and I did, and probably do find her attractive but something about he being Simon Cowells lover made me feel ill.
elizium said:
I cant say that I would ever want to be Simon Cowells lover. But then I think Sinnita is far too thin. She needs to eat some bread and butter pudding or a nice piece of Spam.
mord said:
Its fine being Simon Cowells lover he takes 4 hours in the bathroom working on his hair creation and then 5 hours to get his trousers low enough to reveal his manhood ( if in fact he has one ) so you can feed Sinnita during this time and sex her instead, you had to mention
Lovely spam, wonderful spa-a-m,
Lovely spam, wonderful S Spam,
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am,
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am,
SPA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM,
SPA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM,
LOVELY SPAM, LOVELY SPAM,
LOVELY SPAM, LOVELY SPAM,
LOVELY SPA-A-A-A-AM...
SPA-AM, SPA-AM, SPA-AM, SPA-A-A-AM!
mord said:
I wonder if anywhere else on the world but the UK eats bread and butter pudding ?
Lovely spam, wonderful spa-a-m,
Lovely spam, wonderful S Spam,
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am,
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am,
SPA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM,
SPA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM,
LOVELY SPAM, LOVELY SPAM,
LOVELY SPAM, LOVELY SPAM,
LOVELY SPA-A-A-A-AM...
SPA-AM, SPA-AM, SPA-AM, SPA-A-A-AM!
mord said:
By the way are you sure Sinitta is still too thin ?
Lovely spam, wonderful spa-a-m,
Lovely spam, wonderful S Spam,
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am,
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am,
SPA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM,
SPA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM,
LOVELY SPAM, LOVELY SPAM,
LOVELY SPAM, LOVELY SPAM,
LOVELY SPA-A-A-A-AM...
SPA-AM, SPA-AM, SPA-AM, SPA-A-A-AM!
elizium said:
I have just done a wiki on Sinitta ( well somebody has to) and it says that she was the lead singer with Hot Gossip. So not only did she appear on screen with Cupid Stunt but now she is having sex with one (alledgedly) (dont sue me Mr.Cowell)
elizium said:
And as for Lovely spam, wonderful spa-a-m,
Lovely spam, wonderful S Spam,
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am,
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am,
SPA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM,
SPA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM,
LOVELY SPAM, LOVELY SPAM,
LOVELY SPAM, LOVELY SPAM,
LOVELY SPA-A-A-A-AM...
SPA-AM, SPA-AM, SPA-AM, SPA-A-A-AM!
I havent had that for years. Apart from the ones which wants to give me a larger penis. But what would I do with two.
elizium said:
Perhaps if it takes Simon Cowell five hours to adjust his trousers to show his manhood I could sell him my second one. That way Sinitta wouldnt mind the wait so much
mord said:
Wiki'ing Sinitta sounds rude and quite appealing damn I wish I had wikied her first, but you did it all on the best possible taste Michael, you need to check you tube for Hot Gossip videos in fact everyone does :P As far as I can assertain Simon Cowell wont join treemo he thinks its the worst media sharing site he has seen and shakes his head.
Hang on I was always shallow seems I never noticed Hot Gossip had singers, and I thought Sarah Brightman was their singer ?
mord said:
So spam gives you a larger Penis, why did nobody tell me ?
mord said:
Simon already has two Penis's or is it Peni ? one is attached to his head ;-P
klipriem - The ability to suck your own nipples.
elizium said:
I recomend that you visit the Spam website. It is full of treats and delights for the spam lover. Although I can find no mention of a larger penis as a result of eating spam they do have some interesting taste combinations on the site
Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...
elizium said:
I suppose if you wanted it is possible to have Lobster Thermidor au Crevette with a Mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
mord said:
You seem to know your food, I like a person who knows their food, shame all the food is made of dead animals, but nobody is perfect , I have to admit when you younger pre-16 I did eat and enjoy spam and had many of the combinations Monty P suggested, now to develop vegan spam :)
mord said:
Lobsters are a sort of Crab thats almost a link to the United States special forces horizon flooding photo, but not quite :P
mord said:
I feel as we have managed to get the conversation onto Monty P we should at least name our favourite sketch if thats possible from the fantastic selection available. So I throw down the gauntlet and you go first !
atomicmikef2 said:
i want to play but i'm feeling a little inadaquite. i don't know much python and i'm a little short in other areas too. but i'm willing to experiment on myself with the spam though.
mord said:
By a little short do you mean you are a midget or a dwarf its important we know which for political correctness, also need to know if you are a gay midget, a muslim dwarf and so on, spam is probably fun to play with but I remember it was best fried,
elizium said:
The first Monty Python sketch that springs to mind is the fish/face slapping dance. Made me laugh a lot.
elizium said:
And then obviously we have the Lumberjack song. If there were more songs like that I am sure that the record industry wouldnt be in such a mess. I mean who can fault lyrics like that.
mord said:
I wear womens clothes and hang around in bars, I suppose I could chop wood if needed, I think we are showing our age, perhaps add that we saw Monty Python for the first time last week by accident on the old gits channel
mord said:
Thats a point why doesnt Dave have Monty Python on it ?
mord said:
The channel Dave that is :P
mord said:
Oh and last night watched a load of ripping yarns on DVD its just as good as Monty Python
elizium said:
I used to love Ripping Yarns. I always wanted to go to a school that had a maggot patch as punishment .
elizium said:
Oh and did it have a school panther for tracking down runaways. Every school should have one
mord said:
Eric Olthwaite was my favourite even the white bits were black, and it was a Leopard, though of course I have just watched them again, and a leopard would ne be offended being thought of as a panther as long as it wasnt pink.
mord said:
And never forget the unmarried Filipino women that school bully had :)
mord said:
And are you bored yet ?
atomicmikef2 said:
i'm usually happy and in a good mood but my right leg is shorter than my left so i'm not sure where that places me among the populace. here in texas we like to bar-b-q so i think i'll start with a couple of spam steaks...
elizium said:
With those odd legs of yours you could have gotten a job in The Ministry Of Funny Walks. I am sure Cleese could do with a rest now.
elizium said:
And remember to barbecue your spam steaks well. You know how dangerous it can be to eat semi raw spam
atomicmikef2 said:
oh crap! now you have me running around in a circle! mad spam disease? has anyone told the hawaiians? i mean, isnt that like their national food. the picture on the can shows a slice of pineapple...
mord said:
One of my legs is shorter than the other and both of my feet too long, Frank Zappa at his finest, Your a dancing fool.
mord said:
With mad cow disease you moo loudly, think President Bush and Tony Blair are great and fall over a lot, I think with mad spam disease you put on a grass skirt play a uke and think everything in the world is just great saying aloha a lot, the pineapple is all for show, and expensive fruit to decorate meat and pizza with and throw away after your finished.
mord said:
Oh if you are ever bored create your own silly walks
http://www.sillywalksgenerator.com/
elizium said:
If you run around in a grass skirt would the friction cause it to burst into flames? You could lose more than your pineapple chunks if that happened. Then the man from Del Monte would say NO.
elizium said:
And as for Frank Zappa - we here in the laboratory of the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen know a thing or two. But I am not going to tell you. Because thaat would be plain wrong.
elizium said:
Obviously avoid yellow snow. That goes without saying
elizium said:
And possibly a dog-doo snow cone.
mord said:
Ouch, great chunks of fire ! The man from Del Monte was a fruit rapist, and he wouldnt take no for an answer, if a fruit says no it means NO !
mord said:
Nice to hear Mr Zappa get a outing, though as long as someone doesnt have a urine infection then urine is sterile and so would be fine flavouring for a snow cone, not sure about Mr Whippeys though !
elizium said:
I would have to think about having a urine flavoured snow cone - especially if the wee donor had been eating asparagus. Or sugar puffs.
elizium said:
After hearing what that nasty Del Monte man does to the chunks I want to give him a good slap. Lets hope he doesnt team up with Fyffes the banana strangler and pay Granny Smith a visit
mord said:
Now funny you should mention the evil Maria Ann Sherwood Smith ( or granny to her victims ) she could have handled the strangler with no problems by inserting her deadly seeds in his eyeball sockets, talking of Australia Paul Davies if from Australia and that always reminds me of the Unruh effect, and how glad I am not an inertial observer, oh how I laugh when I think of this.
sexgod1 said:
lmao! I think I solved your weight issue with Sinitti... she could eat and probrably is Simon Cowells peni ( pasta that is ).
mord said:
Oh And if Paul Davies is reading this then text me nakid on 1.3806503 × 10-23 m2 kg s-2 K-1, LOL ;-)
mord said:
Oh multiple comments, and Sexgod1 Sinitta is a universal constant and partly explains the universe expanding, or does it explain my trousers expanding, NOTHING explains Simon Cowells trousers of course :P
elizium said:
Please. I know we have a Sexgod on board this roller coaster but expanding trousers? Leave Sinitta out of them. And I think it would be safer to keep Coweel out of your trousers as well - just ask Louis Walsh
elizium said:
And although I could discuss the Unruh effect all day it still doesnt explain Foucaults Pendulum. Oh perhaps the rotation of the earth does that
sexgod1 said:
that would justify why superman can run so fast
elizium said:
I think supermans underwear is too tight and he is in severe scrotal agony. Or perhaps Lois has promised to dress as Lex Luther and Supy is desperate to get home for a bit of "man of steel"action
sexgod1 said:
I think Simon could help in that department...
mord said:
Hey a new term of abuse for treemo, why dont you just Foucault off ;-) Superman runs fast because the alledegly gay Simon Cowell is after him :P
mord said:
I am worried about Elizium he seems to be looking at mens scrotal regions a little too often :P
mord said:
Which brings us all the questions does superman have a super penis ?
mord said:
And if so how does Lois manage sex without getting nasty burns
mord said:
Thats Burns as in heat and not Robbie :P
sexgod1 said:
I don't think so because that would mean that a womans vagina is cryptonite, after all its all mans weakness
elizium said:
Believe me Mr Mord scrotums are not my bag. I merely mentioned Supermans underwear as a possible cause of his super speed.
sexgod1 said:
I believe that would have something to do with his boots not his briefs.
elizium said:
I think Louis Walsh might disagree with you there Sexgod haha
sexgod1 said:
i have a topic and its actually something my class and I are working on. Imagine a car or vehicle that doesn't need gas or liquid or solid to run on.
sexgod1 said:
we got as far as a circuit with coils but heres the catch it possibly could run on ions from the ionicsphere, were at the point of how can we make something that collects enough ions to where its consistent.
elizium said:
Unless the vehicle is for space travel you may be better off with the trusty internal combustion engine. But I will say this - Magnetoplasmadynamic.
mord said:
Well lets see Ions have mass and I suppose could be seen as a solid or cloud of gas, also they really dont give much of a push and wont work very well in an atmosphere, perhaps Krptonite or Lois's vagina might be a power source ?
As to NASAs Magnetoplasmadynamic drive it needs loads of power which would probably have to be nuclear to work.
So I think its the obvious solar power, of course a fast one might only be suitable for someone sponge bob's size
http://www.selectsolar.co.uk/pics/pic02004IP13.php
And I suppose electrons has mass and even photons have mass so a photon drive which would cook anybody who stood behind the car would be out of the questions as well, there is of course wind, a huge sail which would allow motorway travel in windy days, or to be absoloutely sure of the car being 100% green using neurinos from the sun would be worth looking at.
I remember seeing buildings ( The Crimson Premium insurance company ) sailing once or was it a dream :P
Oh I also have to point out that not all men are not interested in vaginas ;-)
As of course not all women are interested in Peni ;-)
mord said:
And, I have to apologise that having been on Treemo so long I cant help but talk about peoples private parts. And I am afraid I still dont understand how to talk the Treemo talk, I am just to old to learn ;-)
mord said:
And, I am sorry for starting sentences with the word and, and I will try and do this less in the future.
elizium said:
Treemo speak is a whole different language. I am assuming that most people on Treemo are american so perhaps it is a special north american language. You are never to old to learn Mr Mord but do you really want to learn a language that looks like it has been written on a broken typewriter.
elizium said:
And another thing. Whats wrong with starting a sentance with "and". Reminds me of arguments for some reason.... mmmm. I need to think this one out.
elizium said:
I have also decided that I do not want to pilot Sexgod`s ion powered vehicle. I want to drive/sail/fly a ground effect plane. Like the Ekranoplan - god bless the Russians and their marvellous technology. Its the way forward I say. Unless the government are going to issue us with personal jet packs that is. I would like one of those so I could rescue kittens that are stuck up trees. How many kittens have you actually seen stuck up a tree. I have never seen one. Its a conspiracy I tell you
elizium said:
Oh . Unless superman rescued all the kittens before I got to see them stuck up a tree. Yes that must be it.
sexgod1 said:
Up! up! and awaaaay, Its off to class I go.
mord said:
Elizzzzzzz LOL Im THA SH IT cuz I dant no whats up wit ya'll speak
mord said:
I have no idea what I am saying anymore
mord said:
While sexgod1 ( by the way where is sexgod without the 1 is he like the real sexgod and we just have like a clone sexgod ) is at class we can discuss that wonderful plane that thinks its a boat Ekranoplan is awetastic and I want one to come to work and it would be great, I would zoom out of Cardiff back and under the Severn bridge and would take less than 15 mins I am sure, I will build one tonight out of wood.
mord said:
AND, Please dont use the GOD BLESS words and Russians in the same sentence the cold war still exsists really its just a little colder than before, that and we have enough things about God on Treemo and thats not the sexgod1 its the real God, one thing I dont see much of is Mohammed or Allah are these guys busy or something ? ( little bit of religion little bit of polictics, little bit of planes that fly just above the water )
mord said:
Oh I noticed one thing as well, when you dont use the new North American faulty typwriter language it takes longer to comment and seems to make more sense.
BTW Superman eats kittens, and personal jet packs are only issued to illegal immigrants along with money and a note saying please leave the country unless you swear at the queen and you can stay, or something like that.
debfily - a young girl with bum grapes
mord said:
By the way I heard the queen knows more swear words than anyone, in fact she first coined the words dirty sanchez.
sexgod1 said:
HaHa! I have entered the computer realm, I was using my phone but now I can type alot more. Does that mean that superman has some type of gay beastiality fetish? ( eats kittens and wants Lex Luthers steel )
elizium said:
I have tried BabelFish and I think that the translation programme committed suicide over your message. I think we should stick to the queens english and that will keep us out of trouble - sort of
elizium said:
Any man - super or not - that wears his underwear on the outside is a bit odd if you ask me. Hi he does have a gay bestiality fetish Spiderman better stay away in his figure hugging suit.
elizium said:
I hadnt realised that the cold war was still on. I thought we were spreading the love man. If it is going to carry on I better get in some bottled water and some baked beans. Maybe organise a bed-in like John and Yoko. At least I get to lie down that way
atomicmikef2 said:
its not so much a language as it is an adaptation. see, our sub-standard schools no longer teach us to spell correctly. now we mostly go to school to see if the hot teacher will ask us to stay after school for extra curricular activities. AND if you just so happen to not get picked its probably because you are morbidly obese, which makes you lazy so you dont want to type all the letters that belong in each word. besides, with all the spam kids are eating nowadays its no wonder we're grossly overweight. i mean, they are eating the spam right? they're not having sex with it or something or is that where the bigger penis thing comes in? because if having sex with spam will make me more of a man then i just dont love spam that much. i think we'll just remain friends because sex can ruin the friendship. AND i'm not sure i want to know where her royal highness got the idea to be able to coin the words dirty sanchez...
elizium said:
I had heard that the Queen was a foul mouthed woman. Apparently she is a lot worse once she has had a few pints of cider. Apparently Prince Phillip makes up disgusting limericks about Charles and the corgis whilst the Queen wanders round looking for an excuse to slag off Princess Dodi
elizium said:
Dont do it atomicmikef2. Dont think about having sex with spam. That way madness lies. Stick to staying late with your hot teacher and try not to do anything foolish.
elizium said:
If anyone is so morbidly obese that their fat fingers are unable to type then they really need to stay away from spam and spam related products. Think about getting a hobby - one that doesnt involve consuming vast quantities of calories would be ideal. Because come the day when the Queen does send a text to say that she has chosen you to have a personal jetpack it`s going to be too late because the waist strap will just be too tight. And then you really will feel foolish
atomicmikef2 said:
madness? i think seeing mord in the stocks has driven us all mad. i'm 36yrs old so the teacher wont let me stay after school anymore. she said that she prefers much younger men, early teens, something like that. the gym teacher did offer his services. he said he would give me a hands on demonstration on how to properly wash myself in the shower. he said thats how batman and robin do it down there all alone in the batcave while alfred stands patiently by. by the way, does the queen get violent when she drinks?
elizium said:
Yes Mr Mord has a lot to answer for. Try and avoid the gym teachers offer.That sort of thing is best left to the type of film you wont find on the Disney channel. And as for Alfred - any man that "serves" a man in tights and his "boy wonder" is just longing for a gimp suit.
elizium said:
As I understand it ( the last time I was at the palace that is) Queeny does get a bit violent when she has had a few. She gets all depressed then she starts ranting about getting the colonies back. Now if she had a fleet of Ekranoplans she could soon skip over and regally kick some arse. Both Prince Charles and Prince Andrew are qualified pilots so that bit is covered. Prince Edward could be the camp air steward and serve salted nuts to whoever wants them. Perhaps Mr Mord should build more than one Ekranoplan this evening and offer his services to Queen and country
mord said:
So its official sexgod1 is the lawnmower man or does he mean he is just using a PC, its easy to get these things mixed up. Im sorry the Babelfish sucks at German its deserves to die. I am sorry we agreed to the queens English.
My husband and I would like to comment on this most spendid Treemo site and if we feel you are likely to cause the Royal famly and issues we will have you killed in a road tunnel, do I smell fresh paint again.
mord said:
Im sorry I cant get the image of spiderman in his tight figuring hugging suit out of my head, of thinking of Mary-Jane in tight figuring hugging suit has me on my knees.
Ooops shallow man alert, I apologise.
Elizium I wouldnt organise a bed-in or love -in if you plan to get lots of beans call me old fashioned, and yes I expectt Russia still has her nukes facing our direction, but superman will save us with his pants.
Atomicmike2, I am not sure you can use hot teachers as an excuse for the new cell phone ( or mobile as they are called in the UK ) type speech but good try, a question are all your teachers centrally heated to make them hot ?
mord said:
I may have bitten off more than I can chew buidling the Ekranoplan, seems it requires plans, materials, engines, fuel, spam, testing, spam, space to build it, spam, and spamming permission, and I would need to get it FDSPAM approved, so sad, its back to the stocks for me.
wingriby - somneone who makes up nonsense words that google doesnt recognise
Words the queen has uttered 1.Butt Muncher 2. Piss flaps 3. Fudge packer 4. hairy anus 5. I am not amused 6. Have Dodi killed 7. Twat 8. Shit eater 9. Do I smell wet paint.
riterfcw - a girl who wont say the word cunt in pubic
mord said:
iffewfd - The act of laughing while drinking tea and expelling the tea at high velocity through both nose and mouth.
Oh and if you see what random nonsense words with meanings appear its me traning google, these words google offers no links to or spelling corrections.
I need 1. A holiday 2. A life 3. Help !
elizium said:
Calm down Mr Mord. Perhaps you do need a holiday. I do believe the Queen has a few properties. Perhaps she could rent one out to you. She is sure to need the money now that she is close to retirement age (retirement age in the UK is 90). As well as the bad language you mentioned she is also fond of the term "anal bleaching" - she gets one of the younger butlers to do it to her whenever Phil fancies a bit of Greek.
elizium said:
Dont give up on the Ekranoplan. I am sure if you work hard and plan efficiently you will get enough spam to finish the task. A bit of British gumption and ingenuity - plus some sticky back plastic, some toilet roll inner tubes and a bit of parsley will get the job done.
Did you know that the word Llancoedcelynysgolcaercwmrhonddabachcochbaracwrw is Welsh for the cat has done a whoopsie in my beret
mord said:
eeeeeek who is that man in your ICON ! Make him stop ;-) yes the queen has many properties, she can bend, twist, stretch, heat up and cool down, she can perform loops, run, walk, speak, in fact most of the properties of a normal human, butg never forget she is a cyborg and her mother was de-commisioned due to old design, I believe the queen newer and more robust structure means she will in service for at least 200 years.
I knew you would get "anal bleaching in the comments" I believe the queen uses domestos or is it domestics ?
mord said:
Do you have a picture of this mythical Ekranoplan, wasnt that the word Vic Reeves used in Shooting stars ? Dont forget I am vegan ( well almost ) so its against my principles to use meat based product for personal gain. And please parsley cant be used any more as lions are protected.
Llancoedcelynysgolcaercwmrhonddabachcochbarathcwrw is Welsh for the cat has done a whoopsie on my red beret
and
Llancoedcelynysgolcaercwmrhonddabachcochbaratrgyycwrw is Welsh for the cat has done a whoopsie on my raspberry beret, prince ( the short sexy one who has damaged himself dancing and not the plant talking, gay or war mongering one ) is actually Welsh, he was born to a family of sheep in the 1700's.
mord said:
Oh and do you think sexgod1 and atomicmike2 are bored or have they eaten too much spam, and are we all so white and nerdy that we cant get girls or sexy mammas or MILFs to comment on our pics ?
Whay is a MILF anyway is it a US Army special weapon or something ?
atomicmikef2 said:
sorry mr mord i was out begging for change to support my spam habit. i really think its the lovely yellowish jelly that its packed in that has me addicted. as for the centrally heated teachers, yes they all equipped with an HVAC system hence the warm/cold response from my last post. as for the MILF its more like spam. the packaging is attractive but whats on the inside that really counts. they also come with special attachments. i think they are called klingons or something. i really dont get out much anymore...
mord said:
Its not that you dont get out its more likely the nurse doesnt let you out ;-)
Spam isnt cheap anymore it was when I was a kid, but then a lot of things were cheap in the 1800's
Looks like we need something to wipe those klingons off the starboard bow.
mord said:
Oh and I have heard via the grapevine some people eyes glaze over when they read this photos comments, I cant imagine why can you ? Do any of you guys know any girls we can bring to our comment fest, if case you dont know girls are the ones that smell nice and tend to be more interesting than us blokes, there are other differences I just cant remember any at the moment.
atomicmikef2 said:
i think their eyes glaze over like a nice piece of spam because we dont use the broken typewriter method of texting. as for the ladies they're also soft and nice to look at. i usually have to pay for their company. i think i'm going to cry.....
frauberchta said:
Oh my Gods!! I have not read anything as entertaining as this page in a long time! thank u for the much needed giggles & smiles! intelligent banter is a rarity here on treemo. namaste
elizium said:
Intelligent? Are you sure you are reading this page correctly. Atomicmikef2 is paying for the company of spam people, Mr Mord is inventing a new language to confuse Google and I am just hanging about waiting to be discovered - although there is never an explorer around when you want one.
elizium said:
Although I must agree that there is a lack of intelligent conversation in the Tree. You can pick up new and exciting phrases to describe boobs and bums though.
mord said:
Did someone mention boobs and bums, dont forget torsos and six packs ( we mustn be sexist ) , intelligent, ahahahahah LOLOLOLOL, but you can see how Monty Python was so popular they made arse's of themselves and people thought they were clever, I suppose that is clever, they would all have been lawyers and merchant bankers otherwise.
mord said:
Isnt it about time we all fell with each other and started making false accusations about each other, ideally ones that have no basis in fact, or ideally we could lie and make things up about ourselves, and actually the best way to fit in with the Tree is to post pictures you find on the internet.
atomicmikef2 said:
this episode of mr mords flying pillory has been brought to you by the word insanity and the letters I, C, U and P. the pillory would also like to thank the makers of the findest potted meat on the planet the makers of spam and its by-products. we'd also like to thank del monty and his fruit company, and the lovely mrs smith. tune in next week when rotten produce is thrown at mr mord by david beckam and his wife posh spice while encouraged by elizium. and watch as atomicmikef2 is beaten by the british royal army for improperly using the words anal bleaching and dirty sanchez in a sentence. until next week... aloha! no fruit or animal by-products were harmed during this episode.
mord said:
Oh Changing the subject bit with many quote relevant to the people of Treemo I am going to add some Oscar Wilde quotes and nobody does them better, here is a couple to get us started, all I think will ring bells with Treemo folk ;-)
Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
Woman begin by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.
When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers.
ooprided - someone believing that that are actually important.
mord said:
Oh simultaneous unrelated comments I love them, and glad to see Atom Mike is still alive and hasnt moved to a more intellectually challenging part of treemo :P
kielaide - The act of being goosed from behind.
mord said:
lgrdideer - a mammal the size of a postage stamp with a penis the size of an C4 envelope.
Is Mrs Smith Delia ? The evil bu you cant help but like her and not like her at the same time cook ( I would say chef but come on people ) ?
Becks and Posh are banned from Treemo they do not represent the classy level of people we want on our high brow site.
And I must state the the British Army does not beat anyone ever, ( had to say this I am being waterboared by them to say it )
mord said:
Mord Oscar Wilde
True friends stab you in the front.
There is something terribly morbid in the modern sympathy with pain. One should sympathise with the colour, the beauty, the joy of life. The less said about life's sores the better.
There is no sin except stupidity.
wxzeei - The smell you get when you open a new packet of dry roast peanuts
atomicmikef2 said:
the flying pillory is taped before a live studio audience...
mord said:
I never understood "a live studio audience" I mean a studio audience is not likely to be dead and if its taped in front of an audience then by default its live :P
That said some audiences might as well be dead, never can figure people who go to shows and sit there looking like they had been forced to attend, I suppose Treemo is like a live show taped before a live audience, hang on though are we being forced to attend, "we can check out any time we like bit we can never leave"
diqsredmum - that feeling you get when you out a fresh new wig on for the first time.
mord said:
Oh and off the subject bit something I want to know Atomicmike2, why do you have no icon pic ?
Is it any of the following :
1. Whats an Icon pic Mord ?
2. That is my icon pic it took me 8 hours of photoshopping and just looks like the deafault one :P
3. I am so cool I stick with the default to be alternative.
4. I cant figure out how to do it
5. I am a communist and believe all out icons should be the same comrade.
6. I dont have a thong to wear for my Treemo icon pic.
7. Mord F*ck off you mother F*cking C*ck sucking Twat.
8. By conforming to conformity I am an unconformist.
9. If youre so anti fashion why not wear flares instead of dressing down all the time.
10. I will have an icon by Christmas 2010.
iqprode - The ancient art of slapping rubarb on ones bottom.
elizium said:
Oscar Wilde is a good choice for stealing quotes from. I have found a few I like. Not necessarily p.c. but what the hell - this is the new frontier of cyber worlds.
A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
All the good things in life are immoral, illegal, or heavily taxed.
Bad artists always admire each other’s work.
elizium said:
I also like these quotes. They just seem to shimmer with intelligence and insight into mans existance.
“My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.”
"I remember so clearly us going into hospital so Victoria could have Brooklyn. I was eating a Lion bar at the time"
“I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.”
Brings a tear to your eye when you think of David coming up with these insights. What a guy
elizium said:
Dont fall into Mr Mord`s icon trap atomicmike. Once he knows what you look like then you are in his grasp.You will be lured to his stream and you will beome part of his family. When he says that iqprode is the ancient art of slapping rhubarb on ones bottom he`s not joking. I tell you it`s a slippery slope. But thats probably caused by the rhubarb juice.
atomicmikef2 said:
11. i have so much back hair that it looks like i always have the same shirt on. 12. i am so ugly treemo has banned any use of my photo as it is deemed offensive. 13. it took me 10 hrs to photoshop and thats the best i could do.
elizium said:
I cant buy the back hair story. There are so many fashionable things that you can do with hair nowadays - what about tram lines or corn rows. Maybe have it beaded or plaited. Maybe even a mullet if thats your thing. And as for being ugly - come on. Have you seen the front page some days? Looks like they hit every branch when they fell out of the ugly tree. Sorry that was uncalled for. Everyone is beautiful in their own way however small that way may be. Photoshop is a tricky beast to master but keep plugging away
elizium said:
How difficult would it be to start your own political party or religious cult? The closest I have come is when myself and a workmate sort of had a new political party. We called ourselves The Workers Theoretical Revolutionary Party - we used to sit and think about it a lot. But starting a cult would be a lot more hard work. Although some of the groundwork has been done. Everyone in Britain knows that the royal family are extra terrestrial lizards, Madonna is saving Africa by buying one child at a time and someone is monitoring this stream - pssst look at the adds at the bottom of the page. But remember that the revolution will not be televised
mord said:
No mullets, NO mullets, Treemo doesnt have high standard but it does have some standards, I would have thought having the name like Nike shaved into you hair is a could look for Treemo :P So Elizium are you saying Treemo IS the ugly tree, I always wondered where it was ! Its the inside that counts I am sure that "the tree" has lots of wonderful sap flowing through its veins.
mord said:
Oh and its makes me soooooooooo proud to be English seeing David B's wonderfull quotes so so glad he is so famous and a brilliant British Ambassador, can you imagine how Bush and David would loose us all in their towering int